I don’t want this to feel like work. I want this blog to be
something to look back on, something to look back to everything I’ve gone
through/ I’m going through…To look back on the highlight on the normals of life
like; what shows I’ve been in to and what not… I also want to try to connect
with someone out there, through this…
Who knows maybe I’ll get regulars who tune into my blog
posts and realise this is all about real life and a human who has a long, long,
longgg way to go to find real happiness…and I know this isn’t no YouTube vlogs,
you gotta read (yikes I know) haha but maybe the universe will draw appreciation
to the effort I want to be putting into this, next year.
I’ve been saying this for a year. Yeah, the only main resolution
I need to be focusing on next year is my chronic procrastination and
spiralling unorganised messes of memory hoarding but mostly clutter at this
point. I feel like I’ve let that represent me as a person and allowed these bad
habits to maintain but it’s okay…I’ll get there.
I have all these saved screenshots of quotes and beautiful/interesting
things that I want to be able to put together into meaningful/powerful or just
creative posts…because not to be vain or anything…All I can say is I’m not
really good at anything ‘YET’, but I do feel I have a creative mind.
Like sometimes I look back on old posts and think wow I wrote
that? how did I express myself so well, it be like that sometimes lmao…That doesn’t
mean everything I write will be poetic because I still want it to be real/me, my
little quirks etc. Like I want to be able to look back and feel yeah this is exactly
who I was, thank God I don’t speak like that anymore and cringe away and just
be all nostalgic like the nostalgic bitch I am haha.
What I’ve realised is that the way we carry ourselves make
us feel old and I’ve been feeling like that for a long time…Feeling like a mess
and then feeling tired as a whole…Which then leads to even more damage when the
way I’ve been handling it is just by sleeping. Which leads me to where I am
now: not insomnia but still a diseased sleeping pattern
But yeah, I think it’s the year of taking control…and having
sense because the way I started 2019 I realised I was so emotionally detached
and desensitised & I’m happy to say I’m regaining myself back, slowly but
surely; always.
P.S. It’s really annoying when you’re writing and trying to
find a balance between clichés and cringing to something raw and real. Aaaaaaa
I’ll get there too.
Right now it’s 22:59 31/12/18 I’ve literally had 2 hrs of
sleep today so I’m glad that in the end I’m home, sleeping through new years
the usual haha…But “I’m good, I’m great, I’m great”
2019’s going to be EPIC
#tvdforever haha
& “We’ll try again next year” Remember ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment