After 1 Year &10 months
Saturday 4th November 2017

Moral of the post: Life has a funny way of working out

GUYSSS yesterday was the day I talked to a friend I fell out with badly for literally a year and 10 months or so. That’s almost TWO fricking years…but today we met up and talked like none of that time’s passed by but as better versions of ourselves omalord guys my heart.

And on that note closure is so so SO important. Grateful.

❤

What I've learnt from the past is to watch exactly what you say when you feel hurt to the person that's the source, because once they're out (even if you didn't mean it)... they can really BLOW everything out of proportion. 

Honestly the way I fell out with this close friend was because I remember feeling insignificant & like a mug by the way she would chose her boyfriend and his friend over me to the point it was a consistent thing. And it came to a point where I was like there's no point faking this friendship and what was supposed to be a calm 'I'm done' conversation led to bitterness & bitchyness and I just remember wanting to hurt her as much as I felt hurt from her actions but you know it always takes two to tango and shit...So she wasn't the only one at fault. And as a younger version of myself and also our group of close friends we sucked at communicating and maybe this was a bittersweet time passing, falling out/ zero communication thing. As A) I felt I needed to be able to enjoy and not be restricted in the group of friends we always had been in and lose that reliance and you know get along with other people, B) missing someone is the best way to internalise their importance especially when you've always had them and you start forgetting how much they ADD than subtract in your life and C) boundaries and diminishing unhealthy attachments....I'm just glad I could make closure because that's not the person I am anymore and the things that were said and left wasn't a reflection of my entire attitude, it was a really bad self destructive implusive thing honestly. When in reality we both cared/ missed each other..or wished each other were there during certain moments that only we'd get etc etc. There's no point in holding grudges it's all about keeping an open ear guys.

Another thing I've realised is it's so easy to actually fall out with someone but still see them everyday at school because they're still indirectly part of your routinised life. But I realised when school came to an end it's the realisation that 'huh this person's really out of sight now, is it really going to be the rest of our lives wondering how each other's doing and what they're up to'...and maybe that played a part in letting go of the 'ego' because below surface levels we still cared and yeah.

Like I don't know where yesterday leaves us as friends but we'll see but no point stressing, small successes at a timeeee. Like I always say ''Trust the process, every little things adding TF up'' ;)