.Have you ever had someone that just keeps playing mind games like it's the little signs that don't really account for any God damn truth or thing in the end but was so consistent. How could something confusing be so consistent? And feel so right? Make me feel so right and just okay...and now he's not a part of my reality no more. I'm having a hard time moving on.
Like times when I think I'm so over him and think I was the biggggest fool for feeling the way I did for the longest time ever but then BOOM...I just keep missing him. Wth and there's still a entireee not even a tiny part of me that really really and truly from the entirety of my heart hopes that he could somehow be back in my reality. Wtffff.
I hate him. But because he's not here. Because he never was honest about how he felt. Because he was so unclear about ''Not liking me back''. But somehow he's eye's were always fricking glued to mine when I was around. What an idiot for making me feel like an idiot but act's the way he does. But I don't even hate him, I just really miss him. This loser. Ime.
This boy. He was a fricking micro magnifier and made everything drastically bad just fricking unclear...it was just a game to focus on everyday like a distraction from everything else and maybe that's why he made me feel so 'okay'. Maybe that's why he grew on me so much. Because I didn't even know him, I just felt?
Part 1 of the post I need to write and the reason why I haven't allowed myself to post anything else for so long. Him.
-23:48 15/11/17
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