Losing a friend

Sunday 6^th August 2017 23:19 

I deeped with some people it feels like all that time has not passed by...Because you don't forget the feelings and  sometimes that just reeeeally outnumbers the comprehension of allllll that time that has been passing by... All that time that ideally should have been enough to move on, to accept things haven't been the same for a long time now.

Earlier today I was roaming and talking with a friend and I came across a spot since GCSE results day (2ish years ago) and it felt like that was just yesterday or a week ago. When I was talking to such a close friend that I considered my sister, that I no longer talk to.

Like damn with emotions time merely seems like a concept. But with a friend that you see as a sister, you never really get back like blood sisters have the leniency to do. It’s like fuck all the good times and remember that one time I flipped and the fact she still did not comprehend my frustration for why I reacted or said the things I did.

 Like don’t get her wrong I was a 101 bitch in the way I went about it...But I did try to reach out and get through whilst trying to cripple my ego and obviously I didn’t mean much to work shit out. It was a straight up slap on the face that she obviously did not want me in her life. Some girls change with a boyfriend or male friends. Don’t be that person. That shit is the most mentally suckish irritating thing to watch and comprehend. Like for a boy to that easily tread over a supposedly long ass years worth of friendship and hardship, like damnnn man. She chose him, even if she’ll never admit it.

Now… I don’t even know where she’s headed towards, how her days been and well you just learn to cope and take it all in again, once every while.

Been a long time coming and so I’m desensitised to it. Because comprehending it seems too much to make sense of. Like now that I think of it I can’t even remember being friends, that’s how much I avoided feeling for this situation because I thought forever and I was wrong. Like I look back and all I think about during these 'once in a whiles' is things like....where were you when I was heartbroken or the times we could have had in psychology and worked towards together...Like I feel I genuinely would have ended up enjoying psychology more and understanding it...if there was someone to share it with, to deep it with...moments not being the same because there's no our group chat messages anymore on special occasions because this friendship is no more.

Moral of the blog: Loss friendships will ache more than ‘that boy’

And I think Camila Cabello said it best:

P.s It shocked me when she said this in an interview; when she was talking about her song 'I have questions' was about a loss friendship (My hearttt)